Selfless

A friend recently posted this quote on Facebook: "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." - Oscar Wilde

This quote clarified for me the difference between being self-centered and being selfish.

A self-centered person thinks only of their own wants and needs. It is like someone saying, “I want cake and I want it now!”

A selfish person extends their thoughts out to include others, but only so that they can control them. They would say, “You and I are having cake now.”

An unselfish person would say, “I have some cake, would you like some?”

A selfless person would say, “What do you want?”

At our best, humans are selfless.

It is easy to fall into the selfish trap. We experience the world through our senses and assume that everyone shares our view. If I am hungry or tired, then you must be too.

Another friend posted this quote; “We see people and things not as they are, but as we are.”(Citation unsure)

This is the crux of the problem.

I remember when Julie was a baby and could not talk, if I was cold, then I thought she must be too. And while there may have been some truth to the fact of it being cool, she may have been just fine.

The question becomes how do we see things as they are? How do we get outside ourselves and become our best? How to get out of this trap and put someone else’s needs and wants before our own?

Good questions.

Veterans Day

Today is Veterans Day. It is a day we take time to Thank ALL the veterans that have served and are currently serving in the armed forces. We remember the sacrifices that they made and the sacrifices made by their families.

There are many who live their lives as if no fighting was going on. I admit, I was one. Until my cousin Jake went off to war. Then my brother-in-law Allen was deployed and it really hit home.

These young men left their girlfriends in order to do what was right.

They postponed educational opportunities in order to serve their country.

They risked their lives.

Now, you may or may not agree with the current war in Iraq. And you may argue about the strategies that are or are not being done in Afghanistan. And you may believe that all war is wrong and there is never a good reason to fight. But today isn’t the day to argue about the merits of war.

Today is the day to realize that, because men and women have been willing to sacrifice what they may want in order to serve the nation, we are free. We can speak freely. We can believe freely. We have so much in this country that we take for granted. Sure the system isn’t perfect, but we don’t worry about bombs falling on our homes at night. We don’t worry about being stoned if we show our ankles in public. We send our sons and daughters off to be educated. We grab our guns and go out and get our venison. We get to keep all our fingers when we vote.

All because of the selfless sacrifices made by some of our fellow citizens.

Today is the day when we stand as one nation and say “THANK YOU!”

My personal “Thank you” goes out to: Allen Komarinski, Jake Komarinski, David Hering, Alan Hering, Chris De Beaucourt, Rick Shinkle, Patrick Kerbin, Betty Ruschmeier, and Steve Ruschmeier.

(For all my Engrish friends out there - Per Wikipedia: The holiday is commonly printed as Veteran's Day or Veterans' Day in calendars and advertisements. While these spellings are grammatically acceptable, the United States government has declared that the attributive (no apostrophe) rather than the possessive case is the official spelling.[2] ^ Sherry, Kristina (2007-11-09). "Apostrophe sparks Veterans Day conundrum". Columbia Missourian. http://www.columbiamissourian.com/stories/2007/11/09/apostrophe-sparks-veterans-day-conundrum/.)

Equality

So Maine rejected same-sex marriage. State by state, marriage laws vary. It should be consistent across the country.

We are regulating a group of people to a less than full person status. We may not come out and say that homosexuals are 3/5ths of a person, but that is how they are treated. Once again, we are falling short of the ‘All are created equal’ stance that we Americans claim to have.

There are those who would be quick to point out bible verses for why they think homosexuals deserve to be treated as less than. But we must put all religion aside because the United States of America is a secular government. By declaring that the Hindus across the street are free to be Hindus, the Jews down the street are free to be Jews, the Muslims on the next block are free to be Muslims, the Buddhists that are our dear friends are free to be Buddhist, and that I am free to worship in a Christian church and believe in the saving power of Jesus Christ, then we have declared that the United States of America is Not governed by the beliefs espoused by ANY religion.

The United States of America MUST treat ALL its citizens with equality. And if the USA decides that it needs to continue being in the business of marriage, then this must be presented to all equally. Regardless of race, gender, or creed.

My Own Mind

You’ve heard the idiom “Preaching to the choir” before. In case you haven’t, it means you're wasting your time trying to convince people who already agree with you instead of going out and talking to the people who need to be convinced.

When I was in college, oh so many years ago, I worked a summer job painting dorm rooms. We worked in two-person teams. My teammate would bring a boombox with her for us to have something to listen to while we painted. She always listened to Rush Limbaugh. Not because she liked him, but because she disagreed with him. She felt it was important to know what the other side was saying.

In a debate, it is important to know the two (or more) sides of the argument. Too often we just listen to those that agree with us.

Listening to the other side is something I find very difficult to do. My conservative newspaper and conservative family members and co-workers make sure that I do hear their side.

I do my best to make up my own mind about the current issues of the day. And then I let those that I disagree with know where I stand. Because frankly, preaching to the choir just annoys the choir.

Public Option

Both sides of the debate (Health care/War/Stimulus/any current debate) are busy throwing inflammatory insults. This is not good. At my daughter’s school the other day, I overheard the elementary vice-principal pull a child out of the bus line to discuss the teasing she had overheard. Teasing is Not allowed in elementary school. Why do we adults allow it in our public debates?

Somehow, our president is both a fascist and a communist, intent on destroying this nation. I have noticed that a basic primer on these terms is needed in this country.

Fascism = totalitarianism (Nazi)

Socialism = collectivism = Communism

Capitalism = entrepreneurship

Democracy = social equality

Republic = nation

Federal = central

We live in a Federal Constitutional Republic that is governed by the principles of Democracy via Capitalism. In other words, we live in a centralized nation that is governed by a set constitution and the principles of social equality via entrepreneurship. I can make it good if I work hard, and so can you.

The USSR was a Constitutionally Federal state made up of 15 Republics governed by the principles of Communism via a centrally planned economy. In other words, it was a centralized nation governed by collectivism via the rule of one party. You can make it because the state takes care of you. (The USSR had many constitutions, they were often changed.)

Nazi Germany was a Federal Republic governed by principals of Fascism via a state intervention. In other words, it was a centralized nation governed by a totalitarian dictator that interfered with the economy as it saw fit. You make it if Hitler says so.

In the USA, disagreements with the government are fully allowed and protected by the First Amendment. The First Amendment states: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

In USSR, disagreement was allowed, in the party, prior to the final decision being made ("freedom of discussion, unity of action” per Wikipedia USSR page). Outside the party, disagreements were too disruptive and not allowed.

In Nazi Germany, disagreements with government lead to execution or, if you were lucky, imprisonment.

So is Obama a fascist or a Nazi? No.

Does he have socialist leanings? I would say yes. Is that a bad thing? Well, let’s ask a vet who uses the VA (a government run heath care system). Or ask a senior who uses Medicare (government run heath care). Or a poor person using Medicaid (government run heath care). I see a president trying to help those that need help. Not a president telling everyone that they have to use a government run health care system. I think one more definition is needed.

Option = 1. The act of choosing; choice. 2. The power or freedom to choose.

More choice is a good thing. A capitalist thing.

I am all for that.

Before God

When talking about good vs. evil, black vs. white, what is really being discussed is sin. What is sin? The basic response is that sin is what is evil. To be good is to be without sin. To be evil is to be with sin.

I have already noted that I am not perfect. For Christians, the only perfect person is Jesus. I strive toward perfection, but I cannot reach it. Does this truly make me evil? In Genesis, God declares His creation to be good.* If God declares me good, then I am good. But I sin. So I must be evil. And on goes the circular argument.

There are those who believe that sin falls on a continuum. That some sins are deadlier than others. A little white lie won’t send you to hell, but a major lie will.

I do not believe this is so. There are crimes that are more horrific than others, yet we are looking at life from our point of view.

I believe that when imperfection (humanity) meets perfection (God Almighty), we are bowed down low by the knowledge of our own faults, however insignificant they may be. Our very nature is incompatible with that of a perfect loving God. And we are not capable of perfection. All of us err. This is how we learn and how we grow. Imperfection is not evil. The sin we commit that is most grievous is that we do not grow. We do not learn from the mistakes we or others have made. We each stumble anew over the same log. The log with the large sign on it saying “Watch Out!”

We will all be before God one day, whether we wish to believe it or not. I pray that I will have removed the logs from my eyes.**

*Genesis 1:27 & 31(New Living Translation) ²⁷ So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. ³¹ Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day.

**Luke 6:37-42 (New Living Translation) ³⁷ “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. ³⁸ Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” ³⁹ Then Jesus gave the following illustration: “Can one blind person lead another? Won’t they both fall into a ditch? ⁴⁰ Students are not greater than their teacher. But the student who is fully trained will become like the teacher. ⁴¹ “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? ⁴² How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

Mercy

There is a certain black and white aspect of good and evil that all people are drawn to, especially people around the age of 7. Seven is called the age of reason. It is when children know right from wrong. This is when kids really get into the rules: this is wrong, that is right, “I am telling the teacher!”

As a parent, I am entering into that age. My world has shades of gray. My daughter’s does not.

Unfortunately, there are many adults in this world who view things as black and white. Stealing is wrong. Lying is wrong. Cheating is wrong. Killing is wrong. And what is right? Honesty. Caring. Compassion.

Where does Mercy fit into this equation? If we are merciful, than aren’t we rewarding wrongdoers? Yet, Christians are asked to be merciful.* My favorite Bible verse applies to Jews and to Christians. Micah 6:8 (New International Version) “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

To be good is to be merciful in justice. Someone who steals a loaf of bread because they are starving should not be thrown into jail. This is common sense. An unjust law should be broken. Rosa Parks deserves her heroine status.

I am not perfect. Every day I make mistakes. Mistakes that tattle tellers would gladly point out to an authority. Mistakes that they wish to see me punished for. Yet I hope for mercy. As does everyone I know. Which brings us right back to the Golden Rule.

I will continue to strive for mercy towards those that do not deserve it, even if they do cut me off and give me the finger.

* Luke 10:37 (New Living Translation) The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”